Aut Timeo...Aut Amo (Don Miguel Ruiz)

       Every second of everyday we are making decisions. You are deciding to read this post, to judge it or not judge it, to comment constructively or maliciously, or not at all. Every moment presents a new opportunity to change our situation with decisions and the build up of these choices over time are bound up into the stories of our lives. Some stories may be neatly put together, leather bound with gilded pages, whereas others may be shabby little things, uneven pages sticking out with mud stains. When we come to a fork in the road how can we be sure we take the right path? 

It seems like every which way we turn there are irresolute faces; puckered lips, squinted eyes, drawn brows; all reflections of the hesitancy we feel inside. High school is the high time of life altering decisions that can be made by no one but ourselves and yet, there are so many forces pushing and pulling; counselors want us in certain classes, mom and dad want master’s degrees, and, on top of that, colleges are bombarding our mailboxes, virtual and physical! It’s like Hogwarts recruiting Harry; before we know it, large hairy men are going to show up at our doors and haul us off into the world! I exaggerate but the point is made. So before we sign away our souls or end up in jobs that don’t play to our passions(for they feel like pulling teeth and just may be pulling teeth), let’s ask ourselves, “Are my motivations based on fear or love?” The difference is, “Fear is full of obligations. In the track of fear, whatever we do is because we have to do it...We have the obligation, and as soon as we have to, we resist it...On the other hand, love has no resistance. Whatever we do is because we want to do it. It becomes a pleasure; it’s like a game and we have fun with it”(Don Miguel Ruiz).

In a sense, this is an expansion of my last post about perspective; whether we act out of fear or love changes the whole situation drastically. Unfortunately, we are mostly raised o respond to fear. How many times did our parents say, “Hold my hand or a car will hit you. Don’t talk to strangers, they’ll snatch you! etc.” As we aged it became, “Do your work or you’ll fail!” This is essentially the fork in the road between average and successful students. Average kids continue to respond to fear until they become teens and rebel. The fear of repercussions has worn off; work no longer holds their attention. Contrastingly, the successful students adapt; they evolve to acting out of love. They may dislike the work load but its the love of success driving them; the pride a job well done affords and the doors it opens!

Applying the concept of fear and love based motivation to school is only a very minuscule example in the scope of the world. I challenge you to try it, if only for a day. Every decision, ask yourself if you act because you’re afraid of what others think, or of rejection, failure etc. Or do you act because of a true desire that will benefit yourself and others, that will bring happiness? As we near the end of our teen years and embark on the journey to new lives, we can use this simple tool to discover the right destination, the right college or career. I’d rather be the poor artist who paints his heart on street walls that the affluent doctor who has left his all but forsaken.